HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RYAN!!!

Wow! My baby is 14 years old today! How'd that happen?! I thought surely if we didn't kill him, Mabry or Pete would! :)* But this cute little guy, horribly spoiled by his Granny (Patrick's mom), has slowly grown out of (most) of his spoildness and is turning into a fine young man. Thank you, God!

Ryan is one who clearly understands about short-term sacrifices for long-term gains. Last night we wickedly told him that he could either have money for his birthday or take his girlfriend with us to dinner tonight, but he couldn't have both. The look on his face was priceless! You could see the wheels turning as he talked it out, "Ok, if I take the money, Shelby'll be really mad. But if I take Shelby, I won't have the money to take her out a few times later on. One date with Shelby? Or a few dates with Shelby? (sigh) I'm gonna take the money!" LOL! Of course, we then let him off the hook; there's no way we'd NOT let Shelby go out with us tonight!

4 years ago Patrick had the upper hand.....

Now the tables have clearly turned! Ryan is an even 6'2"!!!

So sad....

Last night we went out for a family dinner and had the BEST time! We all sat around talking, joking, teasing, laughing, and we stayed until they were ready to kick us out! We haven't been together like that in a long time; too long! We get so bogged down with extra jobs (Patrick), theatre (Mabry), work/band/soccer (Pete) and band (Ryan), that there's rarely a time when we can all get together anymore. Somedays I only see Pete in the early morning before school, and sometimes days go by without seeing Mabry. Our schedules just don't allow for much family time anymore. That's just sad.
So....I'm going to change that. I've decided that come whatever, we will eat out as a family at least twice a month. We will make it a priority! I consider this another step on the path to getting vertical.
I'm so glad I've decided to start paying attention...it's amazing how much fun you can have!

Challenges

That's what I've been faced with lately. No, "faced with" isn't exactly the term. "Shoved in my face" would be more appropriate! Each kid brings a different challenge.

The challenge with Mabry is supporting her dream without squashing it with reality. She wants to be on stage, loves it, craves it. But she needs money, too, and for some reason colleges and community theatre just don't pay her to be on stage! We've got to somehow find a balance between supporting her dream and supporting HER! As in, we don't want to be supporting her when she's 30 years old! This means sacrificing some of her time on stage to get a (gasp!)
J. O. B. Sometimes I wish we were the kind of enabling parents that would let our kids do whatever they want, indulge their every whim, to see them happy. I'm sure they'd LOVE that! But that's not adult life, and both Mabry and Pete are about to be adults so they need to know this stuff!

With Pete, the challenge is reining in his free spirit without breaking it. Good grief, I've never encountered such a spirit as his! He wants to fly free, be a kid, have no worries....and I'd love that for him. Unfortunately, he's almost not a kid anymore and must learn to take care of himself. This means money management, and quite frankly he's not interested, thanks very much! Pete's problem with money is not that it burns a hole in his pocket; it burns a hole in his heart! He MUST get rid of it as soon as he gets it or he will surely die! (sigh)

Our challenge with Ryan is fairly straight-forward right now, a simple yes or no. When he wakes up each morning with that surly attitude, we ask ourselves, "Do we let him live another day?" So far the answer has been "yes", but should this blog ever stop suddenly, you'll know we changed our minds! :)*

Get Vertical....the beginning

I decided to name this blog Get Vertical Now because well...."Get Vertical" was already taken! But seriously, get vertical means stand up and pay attention! Life is going by fast, and I'm not sure if I'm a particiapant or a bystander.

I'm an almost 43 year old mother to 3 children, and I'm not sure I caught any of their childhood. A couple weeks ago my 17 year old son Pete had prom. I looked at him all dressed in his tux and said, "What the hell happened?!" Last I remember he looked like this:

Now suddenly I'm taking his picture and he looks like this:

I think there are a few years I missed in between somewhere!!! That's when I realized I'd better get vertical...pay attention.....start participating!

Pete is our free spirit...."Damn the consequences, full speed ahead!" It makes him a fearless goalie in soccer, but it's also keeping my hairdresser busy trying to cover the grey in my hair!

"Get Vertical" also refers to my other son, Ryan, who's almost 14. Ryan has a 15 year old girlfriend that he stays on the phone with constantly! His girlfriend's mom called me the other night after Ryan had spent the evening at their house watching tv. She thought I should know that she watched the movie with them, though it was a really stupid movie. She made that decision after she walked into their living room to find Ryan and his girlfriend lying on the sofa under a blanket. She said they didn't jump when she walked in (which hopefully means they weren't doing anything), but she still walked over to the couch, looked down at them with hands on hips and said, "Oh HELL no! Get vertical right now!" I sure do appreciate that woman!

That's him on the left, all 6'2" of him, in a play where he got to salsa with the girl in the picture. Oh, boy, did he enjoy that!

Speaking of plays brings my 18 year old daughter, Mabry, into the picture. She's a freshman in college who aspires to be a "starving artist"(and looking at her bank account last night I think she's gonna be a good one!). She needs a job but would rather be on stage. She's a very talented actress with a Carol Burnett/Lucille Ball quality about her. She's currently one of the stars in a comedy-murder-mystery set in the 40s, and she plays it to the hilt! She's the one child I generally don't have to worry about, because despite the fact that she has me for a mom, she's turned out responsible, smart and driven! That just amazes and awes me! This pic was taken on the first day of Spring Break 08. That's not sand she's sitting on, it's snow! Yeah, she's a little crazy.

I have a husband, Patrick, to whom I've been married for 20 years. For the past 6 or 7 years (lost count) we've missed our anniversary together because he's in the military reserves and just happens to be gone about the same time every year. I kind of compare it to the "break up with your girlfriend right before Valentine's Day so you won't have to buy her a present" thing. This year will not be any different, but for a different reason. This year it will be ME missing from our anniversary, as I'm going away on a 5 day weekend to Gatlinburg to spend time with about 20 women whom I've never met but to whom I've become close through the Dave Ramsey website! Patrick is really fine with me being gone. As he said, after this many years every day's an anniversary. You wake up, look next to you in the bed and say, "You're still here?" It's an anniversary!